Any port in a storm
by taralynden
Summary: Sometimes the world conspires against you. And sometimes it's for the best that it does.


A/N: written for got_buttermilk who wanted some Prowl/Sideswipe for her birthday (and has waited 11 months for it!) ^_^;

A/N #2: I've got a poll up on my profile page, and I'd love to hear what people think. Never fear, I won't be leaving the TF-fandom :)

* * *

><p>Prowl got his mate's message asking him to come home, and immediately shut down his terminal. His shift was officially over anyway; he had just been avoiding going back to their empty quarters alone until he was ready to recharge. With that no longer the situation he was perfectly happy to leave the rest of his work for tomorrow.<p>

They had both been busy recently - well, for vorns if he was going to be honest about it, but it had been hardest since crashing on Earth - and it had been a long time since they had last managed to have a proper chat over energon, let alone spend any quality time together. And while he was thinking of energon, he wondered if he should stop by the rec room and get some. Checking his chronometer he decided it was not worth the effort: the rec room was always busy at this time of the evening and he did not want to be delayed. In any case there was still some highgrade left over in their cupboard and it was not as though he wanted anything other than a bit of time cuddled up with his mate.

Finally reaching his quarters he walked in and smiled to see Perceptor there waiting for him. But then his smile faltered as it was met by a solemn expression. Something was wrong, and before he could ask he was given the answer.

"Thank you for coming so promptly, I'd like to get this done quickly. I find I simply cannot remain in this relationship any longer. I'm quite sure you understand. After all our schedules rarely align, and when they do you are often called away. Also we share very few interests and your lack of understanding of higher theoretical concepts has been frustrating at times. No doubt you feel the same about my own lack of interest in your fields of expertise. Given that that is the case, it's most logical for us to end the relationship rather than continue the farce."

"You're leaving?" Prowl murmured, stunned.

Of all the reasons Perceptor might finally call him home, this had not been on his list. They had been together for so long...

"Not precisely." Perceptor shook his head. "I can't ask you to move our since they're your quarters, but they're also conveniently close to my lab and no alternative accommodations are currently available."

"I thought we worked well together." Prowl said numbly.

"And we do, in our on duty roles." Perceptor agreed. "But let us be honest with each other: the sex has only ever been passable and neither of us have made any effort to change our routines for the other."

It was not true. He had rearranged his entire schedule multiple times to ensure he had regular break times to meet up with his partner, but Perceptor was often still in the lab. And as for their sharing... Passable? Prowl wanted to argue, but how could he argue against this? At best he could say that that had not been his view of their relationship, but then with his limited emotional programming perhaps he had missed the signs? It had always been so hard for him to socialise.

"I'll send you a schedule of when I'll be here so you can adjust your own accordingly." Perceptor continued. "It's probably best if we spend as little time together as possible, though since this parting is so amicable I don't think there will be any problem if we do end up having to charge at the same time, do you?"

"I'm sure we can come to some mutual arrangement." he responded.

And now Perceptor smiled and stepped forward and kissed him on the cheek.

"There, now. I knew you wouldn't be difficult about this. Now. Did you want the room for this shift or I shall I have it? I know your shift is finished too but since you were still working..."

"There are matters I could attend to in my office." Prowl nodded, turning towards the door.

A feeble excuse about pending work got him out of there and back to the safe privacy of his office, but he was there less than a breem before the locked door opened.

"Go away, Jazz." he said without even looking to see who it was, standing with his back to the door while he pretended to go through some files at the back of the room.

His friend ignored the order, locking the door behind himself and walking straight up to pull him into a hug.

"I heard."

Prowl pulled away from him roughly.

"You heard? How? How the frag do you hear these things so quickly?"

Jazz grabbed his hand and dragged him back into the embrace.

"Heard him talkin' t'Skyfire a few hours ago."

"A few hours ago?" Prowl echoed bitterly. "And you didn't think to warn me? Some friend you are."

"Not my place, mech. You told me that, remember? Said I should keep outta your relationship."

That only stung worse. He had said that to Jazz after hearing once too often that his friend thought he could - and should - do better than the scientist. That it wouldn't last.

He sobbed.

"What did I do wrong?"

Jazz hugged him tighter.

"Nothin', mech. Y'did nothin' wrong. It was Percy, he jus' didn't value ya the way he should."

"The way you do." Prowl muttered.

"That's right."

"The way no-one else does."

Jazz sighed.

"You jus' haven't found the right partner yet, that's all. I swear, there's someone out there who'll love ya for you, not jus' be selfish an' wanna change ya. I know it."

Prowl leaned in against his friend, feeling drained.

Once, he had believed that Jazz's friendship might develop into that perfect relationship. It had hurt when Jazz had started courting Mirage and had started spending time with the noble, but he had thought it would pass. It had not. They were a very happy couple, totally besotted with each other and it was obvious whenever they were seen together, or even when the other's name was mentioned in conversation. Prowl had never felt comfortable acting that way with anyone, not even Jazz. It seemed shameless and false. But it was clearly not false for Jazz and Mirage.

Which made all of his own relationships seem that much more false by comparison.

"Come on, lets go back to your place an' get overcharged on high grade." Jazz suggested. "You're not on duty now anyway."

"He's there."

Jazz paused, then nodded slowly.

"Alright then, we'll go back t'my place instead."

Prowl grimaced.

"Mirage..."

"Is on duty all night an' wouldn't mind if he wasn't. He cares about ya too, Prowler."

"You two seem to be the only ones who do. I don't suppose you'd like to become a trine?"

Jazz shook his head.

"We ain't whatcha need. Not long term. Our door's always open if y'want some company or a shoulder t'cry on or someone t'make ya feel good for a bit, but y'need t'find someone for y'self."

"Who, Jazz?" he ground out.

As always, Jazz had no answer.

* * *

><p>Prowl roused to the sound of muffled voices, his head fuzzy and hurting in a way that he knew was only caused by the effect of too much high-grade making his advanced processor glitch. It was why he never drank much and Perceptor was much the same...<p>

Memory returned and he winced. Perceptor. That relationship was over, and he still didn't truly understand why. Why now and not two orns ago? Why not a vorn ago? Why wait until they had been together for nearly fifty vorns before giving excuses that if true should have been raised right at the beginning?

The answer, his logic centre provided unbidden now that the shock had passed, was most likely convenience. It had been convenient to be sparkmate to the second in command when he was still establishing himself as a new member of the _Ark_'s crew. Convenient while he was making contacts and waiting on permission to work on projects of his own choosing. While he was still at risk of being sent for basic combat training. And now that he had everything he wanted, the relationship was an unnecessary burden.

Prowl sat up, cradling his aching head in his hands, resting his elbows on his knees for stability since his doorwings did not want to cooperate with his equilibrium and were dragging down against the berth's surface.

He knew he was not the most desirable of mates. His intimate relationships - all four of them prior to Perceptor - had been based on mutual assistance rather than romance. Perceptor had seemed different because he claimed to like Prowl for himself, but now it seemed he was just the same as all the rest and Prowl wished he had been honest from the start. At least it would not hurt like this.

"...not what he needs right now." Mirage's voice came through from the next room, the former noble sounding uncommonly annoyed.

Jazz and Optimus were the only two who were fortunate enough to have two rooms in their private quarters since the crash. Jazz generally used his as a second office, somewhere a little away from the traffic of the command centre to hold meetings with his team. Some - Perceptor, primarily - had felt that Prowl should have the larger quarters, as second in command, but Jazz's need was greater and Prowl spent most of his time in his command centre office anyway.

"I've known him longer'n I've known you." Jazz retorted. "Sometimes what he needs ain't what he'd think he does."

"A diversion is one thing. This is going too far."

"It's not that big a deal."

"I won't be party to this."

"Raj..."

"No, Jazz. I've told you what I think of it. And if you really do care for him as a friend, you'll drop this foolishness altogether."

A door closed and there was nothing after that, no matter how hard Prowl listened, and he assumed that one or both of them had left. It was unpleasant, the thought that they were arguing about him; he had never heard them argue in the fifty vorns they had been together.

Checking his chronometer he was dismayed to see that he had lost the entire morning and it was now mid-afternoon. He was not in the best state to work and decided that he would go back to his quarters - which should be empty, since Perceptor was now on duty - but only after making his daily report. He could manage that much.

Heading out, he found that he was indeed alone in Mirage and Jazz's quarters, so he did not linger. He paused at the washracks, then collected half a cube of energon from the rec room and drank it on his way to the command centre. Unusually for the time of day, Optimus was not in his office. A quick locator ping through Teletran 1 told Prowl he was outside and Prowl found him talking to Silverbolt and watching the other Aerialbots flying in loops. As he approached Silverbolt transformed and took off to join his gestaltmates and they headed away on some task.

"Prowl."

"Sir. Have I missed a message?"

Optimus looked at him curiously, and Prowl elaborated.

"Did you cancel today's summary?"

"No. I was under the impression you had. Jazz said you wanted some time off. I assumed that was why you were not in your office this morning."

Prowl kept his doorwings from twitching in annoyance only through strength of will. So this was what Jazz and Mirage had been arguing about.

"Jazz. Of course. A gesture kindly meant, I'm sure, but unnecessary. I did get some additional rest this morning but I am perfectly capable of performing my duties."

Optimus put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Prowl, no-one doubts your capabilities." the Prime told him gently. "But all of us need a break from routine now and then. You and Ratchet ensure I have time to myself when I need it, Ratchet and Jazz frequently take short vacations with their mates, yet you have worked through since long before we landed here on Earth. Surely some free time to spend with Perceptor would be welcome, however it came about?"

Time with Perceptor? Primus in the pit, of course everyone would expect that, and with no work to do it would be obvious when it did not happen.

"I really would prefer not to do this at this time." he persisted. "Jazz's timing is very poor..."

"In fact I've generally found Jazz's timing to be precisely right." Optimus interrupted him with a wry expression. "Perhaps not always what I have wanted, but what I found later I was grateful for. And of course, he knows you better than anyone. I'm inclined to endorse his opinion."

"Prime, please, I am not at all prepared to simply hand over. Trailbreaker and Smokescreen..."

"Will manage adequately." Optimus finished his sentence firmly. "Obviously if there is an attack you will need to be back on duty, but short of that I see no reason for you to do anything other than relax and enjoy some free time."

"Perhaps if I simply took today." Prowl tried to negotiate.

"A full orn." Optimus countered.

Fourteen days. Far too long to occupy himself without work.

"I hardly think that length of time is necessary."

"I disagree. And as it happens, Ratchet and I had this conversation just a few weeks ago, and he thought that all officers should take two orns every rotation, so a month for each year we are here. We could ask his opinion, if you like, but I think he would increase the time rather than decreasing it."

Ten minutes later Prowl headed purposefully back inside the _Ark_. Having lost the battle there was no point dwelling on it; Optimus would not be swayed so he would have to make the most of the circumstances. He did have some Earth texts he had intended to read which he would now have time for, and he could make that long-promised visit out to the Portland police station to meet with the police chief there. Those two activities would not take up all of the time, though, so he needed something further to occupy his time.

The answer to that was simple: he needed to get some of his backlogged data downloaded so he could work on it elsewhere. Optimus may not allow him to work in his office, but the Prime should know that he was happiest - and thus most relaxed - when he had data to work with.

Several others greeted him as he walked past and he returned the greetings politely, measuring their interest. There was no curiosity there, so there had not yet been any broad announcement of his enforced 'vacation'. It would come, but for now they were oblivious. Relieved, he walked to his office and then paused in confusion as his entry code was rejected. Confusion turned to dismay as a second attempt failed, and then dismay turned to frustration as his personal authorisation code - which should in theory override anyone other than Prime - also failed. Nor was it requesting a higher security level, it was simply rejecting. Which told him Prime was not behind this.

"Everything okay there, Prowl?" Ironhide asked, walking past.

"Fine, thank you." he responded, turning to a door on the other side of the corridor and pinging for entry.

This room was empty more often than not, but there was a responding ping today and he walked into Jazz's office to find the other mech hard at work.

"You've locked me out of my office." he growled as the door closed.

"For your own good, Prowler." Jazz assured him. "Look, I know you're not happy wit'me right now, but..."

"Not happy?" Prowl fumed. "Do you have any idea what you've done? I have been put on two weeks of immediate leave by a Prime who thinks I'll be arranging a romantic vacation with my ex-sparkmate who just dumped me."

"Point bein' _he_ dumped _you_." Jazz responded. "An' once everyone knows..."

"It will be even more embarrassing." Prowl finished heatedly. "Am I supposed to thank you for that?"

"What I was gonna say was he's gonna regret it. Look, you probably thought you'd just work crazy shifts until you dropped yourself in the medbay, avoidin' him, but it won't work. First off, Ratchet'd have a fit, you know he's already on at you to take more breaks. Second, everyone'd tense up thinkin' you were workin' on some major plan or somethin' so the whole place'd get crazy cause mechs _do_ notice what you do, whether you think so or not. An' third, after all that, everyone'd _still_ think you two were together an' you'd _still_ have t'deal wit'it comin' out. Doin' it this way gets it over with, an' makes it clear you were the victim here. Percy's in for a rough ride for a bit once Blue finds out, trust me."

Prowl shook his head, trying not to let his processor focus too closely on Jazz's 'logic'. Thankfully he had plenty of practice at that.

"I fail to find any of that comforting. Bluestreak should not have to be concerned with my personal issues, and I have no wish to be the focus of the crew's gossip."

"It'll happen anyway." Jazz pointed out. "At least this way you're takin' it head on, right? Then it'll be over quicker."

"Let me into my office, Jazz. I need to retrieve some material to work on."

"You need a break."

"Two weeks without my work is not a break it's a punishment!"

"Can't help ya."

Arguing further had no effect and eventually Prowl had to concede that it was getting ridiculous to continue fighting a battle that was obviously lost, so he retreated.

Stymied, Prowl headed back to his quarters and paced, processors whirling. Everything he saw in these rooms was Perceptor's. His own belongings had mostly been destroyed in the crash and he had had neither time nor desire to acquire new ones. They had shared quarters so Perceptor had also lost much, but he had accumulated more while Prowl was focused on his work.

Forty-eight vorns he and Perceptor had shared quarters. Not these ones, but they had been together.

He stood still, running some calculations and comparing against known data about other pairs.

Everyone had arguments in their relationships. There were always difficult times. It did not need to mean an end to that relationship. Perhaps Perceptor did not intend what he had said in precisely the way it came across. Perhaps it was a way of distancing himself from the message?

His logic centre tried to argue with that analysis but he ignored it, following the thread. He and Perceptor had never been particularly romantic but they had been comfortable. Perhaps the best thing was to at least talk to his mate... his ex-mate?... again. He now had a fortnight and Prime had pointed out that other pairs went away together. Perhaps doing so with Perceptor would allow them both the time to figure out what was going wrong here, and begin to mend it.

Heading out again he tracked Perceptor down in his laboratory. He was going through some data with Skyfire, but the big jet excused himself as soon as he saw Prowl, leaving them alone.

"Yes?" Perceptor asked simply.

"I'd like to speak with you about our relationship."

"We have no relationship other than sharing the same room."

Not an auspicious start, but Prowl held to his course.

"I thought we could give it a second chance." Prowl suggested. "You're right that I have been focused on my work, particularly since arriving on Earth. But our conversation yesterday made me re-evaluate those priorities."

"I don't particularly wish to rebuild what is gone." Perceptor interrupted him. "I now wonder if it were even there to begin with."

"There must have been something or you surely would have remarked upon it earlier."

"Our relationship has been mutually beneficial, but those benefits are mostly irrelevant now."

"If you have expectations I have not been meeting I would prefer to discuss them openly rather than leave things this way."

Perceptor frowned at him.

"I never expected you to be clingy or to ignore the obvious. You want me to be blunt? I am tired of having to avoid charging with you, tired of pretending that I'm enjoying our time together. It's over, Prowl. Now please leave me to do my work and go and do your own. That is, after all, the one thing we _both_ commonly value."

* * *

><p>Sideswipe was surprised by the ping at his door and paused his console game, wondering who it could be. Sunstreaker was gone for the night with Tracks and anyway would just come straight in. A few weeks ago he might have expected Bluestreak, but the grey Praxian was now spending most of his time with Bumblebee - both in and out of the berth - so that was unlikely. A second ping indicated some urgency on the part of the mech outside, though there was still no attempt at a comm signal. Curious, he heaved himself up and over to the door, then stared in shock at his visitor.<p>

"Prowl!"

An inspection? His mind flashed to what was lying around that should not be there. And yet something wasn't right. Prowl was leaning against the doorjamb, his doorwings drooping low and wide, and his optics were flickering.

"Prowl?" he asked, confused.

"May I come in?"

"Uh, sure. Place is a bit of a mess... whoa, hey, take it easy!"

Prowl had taken two steps into the room, then tottered to one side, clipping the base of one of his doorwings hard against the side of the table before Sideswipe could catch him.

"Ow." Prowl muttered.

Sideswipe tried to help him into a chair, but Prowl was uncoordinated and ended up in a heap on the floor instead. There was something seriously wrong, and Sideswipe had had enough. He was not going to be held responsible for whatever was going on here.

"I'm calling Ratchet." he declared.

Prowl clutched at his arm.

"No! No, don't do that."

"Prowl, you're sick. Something's wrong. Did you get attacked? Did someone make it into the _Ark_? Uh... why are you laughing?"

The laughter, if it could be called that, was ugly and bitter, and Prowl was now holding his head with his free hand.

"Of course, it must be a Decepticon plot." he muttered, then sighed and looked up at Sideswipe, optics flickering madly. "I'm drunk, Sides. And I want to be drunker, which is why I'm here. I didn't have enough high-grade to get _really_ drunk and you always have some around."

Sideswipe just gaped at him and Prowl grimaced.

"I'll pay, of course. Whatever the going rate is. But you'll have to wait until I'm sober to sort it out - I wouldn't trust me to get the calculations right, right now."

For a few seconds the dealer in him was highly tempted to negotiate something valuable, like a get-out-of-the-brig-free promise, but his conscience kicked in before he could contemplate it seriously. Besides, Prowl as clearly so far gone he probably wouldn't remember anyway.

"I'm not selling you anything."

Prowl offlined his optics, his expression pained.

"I'll pay double." he promised. "Name the price."

"It's not about price." Sideswipe told him, again forcing away old habits to take the advantage when he saw it. "I don't think you should have any more. It looks like you've already had more than enough."

"Not nearly enough."

"If you have any more you'll start purging."

"I'll take the risk. Please. Just one cube?"

His optics were still offline, and it looked like he was on the brink of an involuntary shutdown. Sideswipe shook his head at the craziness of it.

"Come on." he sighed, tugging Prowl upward with the hand still clutching at his arm.

"You'll help?" Prowl checked, rising unsteadily.

"Yeah, I'll help." Sideswipe promised, guiding him over to Sunny's empty berth.

Prowl sat and then laid back as bidden, but then when Sideswipe tried to move away, his optics came on dimly.

"I'm ready for whatever you wish of me, though I should warn you I am told I am a poor berthmate, so if you wish for credit payment on top of this I will understand."

"What the frag are you talking about?" Sideswipe huffed at him, pulling his hand away from Prowl's unsteady grip.

Prowl stared at him in confusion.

"You are not propositioning me?"

Sideswipe snorted. Trust Prowl to still manage to sound coherent when he was so plastered he could barely stand.

"No, Prowl, this is a friend offering a berth to a friend in need. That's all. Now go into recharge - you're going to suffer enough tomorrow without adding any more slag to regret."

Sideswipe watched as his optics slowly faded out, then turned back to his game with a shake of his head.

"Sunny is never gonna believe this."

Then, as he was considerately turning the volume down, he paused and glanced back at Prowl curiously.

" 'I'm _told_ I'm a poor berthmate'? Who the frag says stuff like that?"

* * *

><p>Prowl onlined to a backlog of error messages, an alert that any rapid movement was inadvisable, and an ache in his processors that usually only came from a straight decaorn of tactical planning with insufficient rest periods. But he had not been working, had he? He had gotten drunk.<p>

Pondering sluggishly whether he could manage the walk to the medbay for Ratchet's assistance or whether he would need to call the medic to him, he onlined his optics to 15% and stared up at the ceiling. He knew that Ratchet would be unimpressed and that making him come out would be worse, but it might just be worth it rather than the mortification of failing to make the journey under his own power and being seen in that state by the crew. His doorwing hinges felt stiff in a way that suggested they had seized due to him resting his full weight on them without settling them into the proper configuration first, so his balance would be off. Strange. He rarely made that mistake. He must have been truly overcharged.

As he continued to boot up he realised that he was not in his quarters. There was a wall to his right which should not be there and it bore a painting that he could not quite make out from this angle. A painting? Not Jazz's quarters either, then. Jazz and Mirage's berth was not against a wall and had shelves on all four walls. A thread of alarm began to wind through him. Where was he?

"So you're awake finally." someone said drily from all too close by.

Jerking his head to the left he caught an impression of red before his optics rebelled against the sudden movement and turned off. Perceptor? No, that wasn't Percy's voice, it was...

Oh Primus. Forget the embarrassment of stumbling in the halls, now his memory was supplying some horrifying scenes from the previous evening. Wanting more high grade, being turned away by Jazz who said he had had enough, promising to go home but instead going to the twins' room and begging - _begging! _ - Sideswipe for help. And then offering to...

"Feeling like slag, I imagine." Sideswipe commented, sounding amused.

Prowl had heard Spike talking once about the the feeling where one wished the ground would open beneath one's feet. For the first time, he truly understood that sentiment. But it was not going to happen and he could not hide so he would just have to deal with what came.

He had plenty of experience in facing up to unpleasant truths.

Leaving his optics off for now so he did not end up more disoriented, he pushed himself up into a sitting position. Or tried to. As predicted, his doorwings were not responding effectively and they pulled him off balance. He tried to compensate and nearly toppled face-forward onto the floor. Would have, if strong hands had not caught him. Even more embarrassing, he noted miserably.

"Thank you." he said as Sideswipe joined him on the side of the berth, one arm around his shoulders anchoring him in place until his gyros could catch up.

"Hey, no problem, I've been there plenty of times."

The mech sounded obscenely cheerful, and Prowl tried not to resent that too much. This was obviously an amusing situation for the frontliner who was usually in the other role of this scene.

Finally feeling like he was not going to fall over immediately, he cautiously onlined his optics only to find himself looking down at a cube of weirdly coloured energon that Sideswipe was holding out with his free hand.

"What is that?"

"Hangover cure. Drink it."

"It doesn't look stable."

"Tastes like slag, too," Sideswipe agreed far too cheerfully, "but it works."

Prowl started to object, then gave in. At worst it would make him purge as his uneasy tank was already threatening to do, and right now that did not seem such a high price to pay. It would at least relieve some pressure. Besides, he didn't really have the energy for an argument.

Taking the cube he took a sip and nearly choked. Sideswipe was right, it tasted nasty.

"Does Ratchet approve of this concoction?" he gasped.

"It's his formula." Sideswipe shrugged, the movement transferring across and making Prowl feel dizzy. "He gave it to us in the end, getting tired of mixing it up for us. You need to do the whole cube for it to work, though."

Grimacing, Prowl made another effort. It did not taste any better on the second attempt but he persevered and finally drained it. And to his surprise, it did seem to have an almost instant effect. His tank was no longer so rebellious, several of the conflicting errors subsided into lower-grade warnings, and the intense ache in his processors muted to the point where he could at least see properly.

The floor before him was suspiciously clear, the way it was when the twins knew he was planning an inspection as opposed to when he surprised them. It had not been that way the night before, he was sure, but that was irrelevant: he certainly could not berate Sideswipe for possession of contraband when he had come here to solicit it.

"Thank you." he said again. "That has helped."

"Always does. It won't last, but it'll do for a bit. What you really need is a cube of mid-grade and about another joor's charge, then you might start feeling normal again."

Prowl looked at him evenly. He could not remember ever being this close to Sideswipe before, and it was odd how comforting it was. Stranger still was his friendliness, though that was easy to find a motivation for: this would make for fabulous blackmail material.

"You are being very kind."

Sideswipe shrugged again.

"Yeah, well. Friend in need."

"Where is your brother?"

"Out. He won't be back for awhile, he's on first shift today. I'm not on until second."

Prowl frowned, trying to think. He never separated the two of them on duty unless it was punishment for something. What had they done?

"Why did I...?" he began, then winced as he realised. "Oh. I did not organise today's schedule. I should speak to Trailbreaker."

"Nah, don't worry about it. Sunny's just as happy doing the city run with Tracks right now - it's too dusty doing the main patrols. It hasn't rained in ages."

Prowl straightened, pulling away from Sideswipe's support, and turned to face him.

"My actions last night were thoroughly inappropriate, and I expect you will wish to make the most of them. What do you want from me?"

Sideswipe leaned back, looking at him consideringly.

"Haven't decided yet." he said after a moment. "You gonna tell me how you ended up like that?"

"I should think that that was self-evident." Prowl responded. "I drank too much high-grade."

"Yeah but why?"

"Perhaps I felt like doing something foolish." Prowl mused. "I am on vacation, after all, and there is very little else to fill my time."

"Guess that's true if your mate's dumped you." Sideswipe agreed, and Prowl looked at him sharply.

"That is known?"

Sideswipe peered at him.

"It is now. I was only guessing, but after what you said last night I figured you and Percy weren't getting on anymore."

Prowl stared at him in horror.

"What did I say?"

Sideswipe shook his head dismissively.

"Doesn't matter. If _I'd_ been with someone that long and it went wrong, I'd want to get plastered, too."

"It... I hope I didn't suggest..." he stammered, trying to dredge up some memory of mentioning Perceptor to Sideswipe and failing utterly. "It's not his fault. I'm the one who failed to make it work."

"Yeah, right." Sideswipe snorted.

"No." Prowl said, alarmed. "It's true. Whatever I said, I... I've never been particularly sociable nor desirable. I am too focused on my work and not good company outside of it. If I had paid more attention I would surely have seen earlier that he was unhappy and not needed him to tell me. He was patient but I did not realise there was a problem, and that is _my_ failing."

"You really believe all that slag?" Sideswipe asked, watching him curiously.

"I am aware of my own shortcomings. It's true that I am a little... bitter... at the moment, but it is only that I did not foresee this problem, and now that Jazz and Optimus have conspired to take my work from me I have nothing left to do but dwell on it. It is not helping."

"I never realised you had such a guilt complex." Sideswipe commented curiously. "You hide it well."

Prowl gave up. Sideswipe was going to make good use of this situation, clearly. He would just have to cope with it when it came up.

He rose, clutching at the wall for a moment to balance himself until his doorwings stiffly responded, then headed to the door.

"Thank you for your assistance. It was more than I could have expected."

"You're welcome. Get some charge, right? It's just not right seeing you all crazy like this... What?"

Prowl had frozen in place at the instruction to get some charge. He was leaving Sideswipe's quarters, but where exactly was he going? Perceptor had been on third shift so he would be in their quarters soon. He would be disgusted to find Prowl in his current state.

"What's wrong?" Sideswipe persisted.

He couldn't go to his office, Jazz had locked him out of it. And though Jazz had offered their quarters if he needed somewhere to go, the visored mech was on duty right now and the idea of presenting himself to fastidious Mirage in this state was even worse than going home to Perceptor.

"Prowl?"

Home? What was that, now? Those quarters might officially be his, but they were filled with Perceptor's belongings, his experiments and notes. Prowl had always taken care not to disturb his mate's possessions, and had packed away most of his own in the process - something that had made Jazz rant at him the last time his friend had visited. That had been a long time ago...

"Prowl?" Sideswipe asked again, now putting a hand on his shoulder, looking deeply concerned.

Prowl pulled away, taking the last step to the door.

"Thank you, Sideswipe." he said firmly, and headed out.

There was only one solution. He would have to find somewhere else to go.

* * *

><p>Given their schedule, Sideswipe did not see his brother all morning so there was no chance to tell him of the weirdness of the previous night. He wasn't really surprised to not see Prowl in the rec room since he would need several hours charge before he started to feel right again after the massive overcharge of the night before, and he hoped the mech was sensible enough to do that and not try to speed up the process so he could get back to work. There was a way to drain that charge more quickly, but after finding out that it was probably the end of Prowl's relationship with Perceptor that had initiated the binge he doubted a suggestion of overload would have been well received.<p>

Heading out on patrol with Windcharger, he found himself still mulling over what Prowl had said.

Not desirable? Well he was a Praxian, and as a rule they were desirable simply for their frame type. Their aesthetics had always been admired, and their rarity since the fall of Praxus had only increased that. Bluestreak and Smokescreen certainly never lacked for berthmates when they wanted them, and the same was true of others Sideswipe had known. Yet somehow he had never thought of Prowl in the same way.

Even now, it was hard to separate the idea of Prowl the mech from Prowl the second in command and head disciplinarian. Still, there was nothing wrong with Prowl's frame. His lines were smooth and his finish always immaculate. Many Praxians had had their sensor panels desensitised and reduced in size to ensure they took less damage in battle, but Prowl still had the original full size, and given his role was so dependent on sensor data Sideswipe was fairly certain he had retained the full sensor suite too. He was rarely in battle, and when he did take part he was always well protected, usually joining Bluestreak as a second sniper.

Sideswipe pondered that thought for a moment. Bluestreak's doorwings were incredibly sensitive, as he knew very well from times the Praxian had shared his berth. Prowl's, then, were likely to be the same or even more so.

Abruptly realising he was falling behind Windcharger and the minibot was asking what he had spotted, he sped up, dismissing the query.

Still... it made so little sense. Praxian build, responsive in the berth, those alone would be enough to make a mockery of the claim he was 'undesirable'. But Prowl had said more than that, though. A 'poor berthmate'? Why would that be?

Had Prowl been making that claim for himself, Sideswipe might have believed that it was a personality glitch. That Prowl did not enjoy intimacy and thus avoided it. But that was not what he had said, he said he had been _told_ he was a poor berthmate. That sounded more like an excuse by someone getting ready to break up a relationship. And lo and behold, wasn't that exactly what had happened? Perceptor had broken up with him.

As for the idea that Prowl had been too focused on his work, well that was slag too. Firstly because anyone who spent any time with him knew Prowl's job was demanding, so anyone getting into a relationship with him shouldn't be surprised. But secondly because Sideswipe knew of plenty of times when Prowl had rearranged his duty schedule around his mate. When you were going to play pranks with Prowl around it paid to know _exactly_ where the mech was, and Sideswipe had learned the hard way that Prowl did not always maintain his own schedule if Perceptor asked for his time. It had come in handy a few times - convincing Perceptor of a particular activity at one end of the ship and knowing Prowl would also be there, thus being free to wreak havoc somewhere else - though it had rarely come off perfectly. Prowl was just that good.

In any case, the idea that Prowl hadn't been _trying_ to keep them together made no sense. If anything, Perceptor was the one who hadn't been trying. That mech always spent more of his free time with the other scientists than with Prowl, and Sideswipe couldn't think of even one time when Perceptor had gone to Prowl's office to find him, while Prowl had often been seen down in the labs.

~Will you slow the slag down!~ Windcharger commed, sounding annoyed. ~What's crawled up your tailpipe?~

Sideswipe huffed to himself, realising his engine was roaring and that he had left the minibot well behind in the dust. Spinning into a showy - and dusty - halt, he waited for his patrol partner to catch him, then headed off again.

~What's up with you today?~ Windcharger complained.

~Need a good fight.~ Sideswipe grunted. ~Never a Con around when you need one.~

Windcharger laughed, the tension dissipating.

~Yeah, so true.~

* * *

><p>Prowl came online for the second time that day, this time feeling far more normal if still somewhat drained.<p>

Following Sideswipe's suggestion he had gone first to retrieve a ration of mid-grade, then he had gone to one of the unclaimed spaces deep in the _Ark_. There was no power back here, no energy to sustain recharge nor even a berth to rest on, but what he needed most was space and time to rest, and that could be found in abundance.

No-one would bother to look here. The only entrance was locked down at all times and could only be released by an officer or it would set off an alarm. Optimus had never come back here since it had been sealed off and nor had Ratchet, and Red Alert would have seen him enter here via the cameras so he was unlikely to come looking. As for Jazz, well he might come looking, but Prowl could not find the energy to care. If Jazz confronted him about hiding he would deal with it then; until then, he would carry on.

Checking his chronometer he saw that it was late in the afternoon, almost at the end of the second shift. Perceptor would be back on duty soon, which meant he could return to his quarters for a brief charging period.

Cautiously he rose and tried deliberately moving his doorwings. They were still stiff but not sharply painful which meant his self-repair could handle them without him having to request medical assistance.

Pleased, he settled them into their customary position and headed out into the main area of the _Ark_ once more. After the calm quiet of the abandoned area, the simple ambient noise of mechs moving about made his sensors twitch but he was well accustomed to that reaction and headed on to the rec room. It was quite busy now with the mechs who were about to go on duty and he had to wait behind several others to collect a cube of energon, then joined Brawn, Wheeljack and Trailbreaker at a table.

"No problems?" he asked his subordinate.

Trailbreaker shook his head.

"Nothing to worry about."

"Except the fact the SIC's gone crazy and actually taken a voluntary holiday." Brawn jibed. "You okay, Prowl?"

"Just fine, thank you Brawn."

"Ratchet says you should come in for a processor scan in case it's some kind of glitch." Wheeljack told him, headfins gleaming bright orange with amusement.

"Then I will humour him and do so." Prowl nodded. "Trailbreaker, we should have a brief discussion about the rosters."

"No need." the big black mech sighed. "Half the crew've let me know where I got it wrong. Tomorrow will be better - it just caught me by surprise that you hadn't done today's."

Prowl nodded. It was true that when he was going to be away or off-duty he usually prepared rosters and contingency plans to cover the period. This particular situation had blind-sided him, but there was no need to confess that.

"It's good practice." he said simply.

"Prowl!" a voice called across the room and he turned to see Bluestreak slipping through the crowd towards him.

He concealed a wince as the other mech's rush meant his doorwings got clipped several times. He knew Bluestreak often turned off the sensors when he was in crowds in the same way that Smokescreen did, and had never understood it - turning them off was like being half-blind. All that usual data from behind was simply gone. Perhaps he was fortunate in that mechs tended to give him a bit more space, and he didn't often come into busy social settings, but he would rather stay aware and simply be more cautious.

"I've been looking for you, Hoist told me you're on leave but I thought you'd be in your office because you usually are even when you're not working but you weren't there and you weren't in your quarters either, or at least you weren't answering - I hope I didn't disturb your recharge or something if you were there - but anyway..."

"Now you've found me." Prowl inserted calmly.

Bluestreak beamed, dragging up another chair.

"That's right, I have. And since you _are_ on holiday and since you're _not_ working anyway, would you come to the city with me tomorrow? It's such a long boring drive on my own and I was going to ask Hound but the schedule's really weird and he's going to be busy..."

"I'll fix it!" Trailbreaker huffed, rising, which started Bluestreak apologising to him.

Prowl considered the offer while the discussion continued around him. He didn't have any plans for the next day, let alone the following twelve which were stretching out in front of him in a dismayingly empty way, and it had been awhile since he had spent time in his alt mode. A drive into the city was relatively safe since the Decepticons tended to avoid human settlements unless they were attacking one directly, and they avoided this one in particular. It was only sensible, since the populace had latched on to the idea that the Autobots were their friends and would report any Decepticons spotted in the vicinity.

"I will come with you tomorrow." he agreed. "When were you planning to go?"

Giving Bluestreak direct questions tended to break him out of general rambling, and it worked today as well as it ever had.

"Oh that's great, I... um, well I thought we should get going early because I'm on duty second shift so maybe 7 o'clock but then if you want to go later..."

"Seven is fine." Prowl nodded. "Are we going for a particular purpose?"

Bluestreak grinned.

"Yeah, but it's a secret. I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Very well."

A morning away from the _Ark_ sounded very pleasant indeed, particularly in Bluestreak's company. The mech was far too talkative, but it was a nervous habit added to an excitable personality and when they were alone - once he got past his initial outpouring - he tended to calm down. Yes, a nice way to spend half of the day. As for the rest of it... well he would have to wait and see.

* * *

><p>Sideswipe stood in the doorway, casting about until he spotted a black and white form sitting quietly in the company of several others.<p>

"Hey Prowl, can I have a word?" he called across the room.

Prowl excused himself from his companions and followed Sideswipe out into the hall.

"Yes?"

"I've decided what I want in exchange for not saying anything."

Not so much as a wing twitch gave away what Prowl was thinking, but Sideswipe would have sworn he tensed up.

"Which is?"

"Hey, Prowl, how come I'm on double-shift today?" Cliffjumper interrupted.

"You will have to ask Trailbreaker." Prowl said without looking away from Sideswipe. "He organised today's roster."

"Yeah, Prowl's on leave, so scat." Sideswipe shooed him away.

"There's no need to be rude." Prowl chided him. "Now, you were saying?"

"You confiscated Sunny's knife a few weeks back. Maybe we could get it back?"

"And?"

"And nothing. Just that."

Now Prowl was staring at him quite hard, the same look he used when he obviously knew Sideswipe was up to no good but didn't know exactly what was going on.

"Nothing for yourself, just for your brother."

Sideswipe shrugged.

"We come as a pair. And Sunny _really_ likes that knife. He's been whining about it ever since you took it - he got it off a Decepticon commander he killed back on Cybertron."

"Which may explain its inappropriately high energy rating. Such a weapon is as dangerous to the user as to his opponent and he was using it in a target game with others nearby."

"He didn't hit anyone, and he's never hurt himself with it. Well, not badly. Anyway, that's not the point, is it? This is what I want, and then we'll be even."

"I still fail to see how this could be enough." Prowl mused, gesturing for him to follow as he turned to walk down the hall. "You could demand a great deal more."

Sideswipe shrugged.

"Thought about it. But in the end you've always been fair to me and Sunny even when you must've been really angry with us. Everyone gets upset. Everyone overcharges sometimes."

"Generally not the senior staff."

"Generally not where anyone can see it." Sideswipe retorted. "Oh come on, everyone knows that Ratchet binges in his office sometimes. And I've seen you and Jazz and Ratchet sneaking Prime out of his office or covering for him if he doesn't turn up for shift. Never seen Jazz get really overcharged, but I bet he does. Everyone does." He paused. "You still look tired, you know."

"I have not yet had time to recharge."

"What?" Sideswipe stared at him. "You've had all day and you're on holiday!"

"I have rested." Prowl responded calmly. "Simply not recharged. I intend to do so now."

They had reached Prowl's quarters and Prowl entered his identity code and stepped inside, then stopped, doorwings twitching sharply. Sideswipe stepped in beside him, then stared.

Perceptor was lying on the berth, curled up close to Skyfire's much larger frame. For a click everyone was completely still, then Skyfire sat up, looking abashed.

"Prowl! Ah, excuse me, I should be going..."

The large shuttle edged around them and left quickly. Meanwhile Perceptor had also risen but was looking more annoyed than embarrassed.

"You could have pinged."

"His own quarters?" Sideswipe asked incredulously, drawing a sharp look from the scientist.

"Third shift began twenty minutes ago." Prowl said in an eerily emotionless tone, his entire body now completely still. "You should be on duty."

Perceptor glared, taking his time rubbing a smudge off his finish.

"I am not late to work, I'm waiting for an analysis to complete." He gestured towards the desk terminal which was running some kind of function. "I've told you before that it's so much easier to use your terminal rather than the lab one, it's far more sophisticated."

Sideswipe growled at the audacity of the scientist, yet Prowl simply turned to a small cabinet, retrieved Sunstreaker's knife, then left the room gesturing for Sideswipe to follow.

"This isn't over." Sideswipe warned Perceptor. "You don't get away with treating him like this."

The scientist looked at him in surprise.

"Don't try to make him look a saint - he obviously didn't bring you back here for a game of chess. I just didn't realise he was desperate enough to stoop so low so quickly."

Sideswipe stepped towards him angrily, but before he could say or do anything, Prowl pinged him.

"This isn't over." he promised darkly, turning to leave and hitting the terminal's reset key as he walked past, pleased by the squawk of dismay the action generated from Perceptor.

Outside he found the other mech had stopped in the corridor and now held out the knife silently. Sideswipe took it and subspaced it, then grabbed Prowl's hand and dragged him down the corridor.

"What are you doing?" Prowl protested, though he did not try to pull away.

"Come on." Sideswipe grunted, ignoring the curious looks from others they passed.

Reaching his own room he closed the door and grabbed two cubes of high grade from his subspace pocket and shoved one at Prowl.

"Here, drink this."

Prowl grimaced and looked away.

"No more high grade. I'm still recovering from the last lot."

"Just one cube. Primus knows _I_ need one and you're shaking."

Prowl reluctantly accepted the cube and took a sip. Sideswipe downed his own in one go then swore loudly.

"Ooh I was so close to crushing the little glitch! Who the frag does he think he is, treating you like that?"

Prowl was peering down into his cube.

"He was my sparkmate."

"Was." Sideswipe stressed. "Was. Not anymore. You should change that lock. Waiting on an analysis, my aft, he wasn't working!"

"We have an agreement to continue to share my quarters." Prowl said quietly, still not looking up. "I cannot simply break that agreement and lock him out without further discussion."

"Sure you can, you're the SIC! And besides that, he's asking for it. Prowl it's only a day since he broke up with you and he's already bringing berthmates home? That's cold, mech."

Prowl was silent for a moment, then set the almost untouched cube down on the table.

"Thank you for your hospitality. I appreciate your concern. I will not bother you further."

"Whoa, whoa, wait a click." Sideswipe sputtered, moving quickly to block the door. "Where are you going?"

"That's none of your concern."

"I don't agree."

A flash of annoyance crossed Prowl's faceplates.

"Stand aside, Sideswipe."

"No."

"That's an order."

"You're not on duty. And this is my room. My room, my rules."

"So now I'm your prisoner rather than your guest?"

"No, I just want a straight answer."

"I can't imagine why you would care." Prowl said, now sounding frustrated, his doorwings flexing instinctively and then eliciting a wince and a hiss of pain.

"What's wrong?"

Prowl hesitated, then shook his head.

"They're out of alignment. I was intending to go to the medbay if the problem didn't self-repair. So will you please let me past?"

"Just tell me where you're going to go. You can't go home - not if you're not going to kick him out - and you need to charge. Trust me, I've had enough binges to know."

"You seem to think I might choose to stay here." Prowl frowned.

"Why not? You did last night and nothing funny happened."

"Last night I was drunk beyond coherency."

"Exactly - you couldn't've stopped anything if it _had_ happened, and it didn't. Now you're all sober and you won't fall for anything."

Prowl considered for a long moment, then nodded.

"Very well. I accept your offer."

He headed for Sunny's berth, where he had charged the night before, and Sideswipe winced.

"Uh, not there. I don't know if Sunny's coming home tonight or not and if he does he won't like it if his berth's taken."

Prowl looked at him archly.

"So I am to understand that it's your intention that I share your berth with you?"

"Just for recharge!" Sideswipe swore.

Prowl stared at him for a moment, then gave a soft ex-vent that sounded almost like a soft laugh, then changed direction.

"Very well." he repeated, and settled himself on the berth without any further fuss.

* * *

><p>Sideswipe was sitting on the floor enjoying his console game when the door chime sounded, rousing Prowl out of recharge.<p>

"Is that Sunstreaker returning?"

"Nope." Sideswipe responded, slightly exasperated at a second night of visitors.

Who was it going to be this time, he wondered. A drunk Optimus Prime? Going to the door he opened it and found Jazz on the other side, the mech's gaze fixed over his shoulder directly at his berth and when he saw Prowl there he growled.

"Want a word, Sides. Now."

Stepping out and closing the door, Sideswipe folded his arms.

"What's up?"

"You know." Jazz glowered at him. "What do you think you're doin', draggin' Prowl into your little games?"

"What games? He's just visiting."

"Just visitin' your berth, you mean?"

Sideswipe frowned.

"He's only just broken up with Perceptor." he began, but Jazz interrupted him.

"Which is why he doesn't need a good fraggin', he needs someone who cares about him."

"I get that."

"Yeah, sure you do. I mean it, Sides: stop stringin' him along. He's hurtin' right now an' he don't need anyone makin' it worse."

"I'm not trying to."

"Well you're managin' it anyway. Leave him alone."

"Like _that's_ going to help." Sideswipe spat back. "That's his problem, don't you see? He _is_ alone and he doesn't want to be."

"An' you really think _you're_ who he needs?"

"Well obviously _you're_ not."

Jazz stiffened.

"I'm his friend."

"Some friend to let Percy treat him like rust all this time."

"I tried t'tell him. He told me t'back off an' I did."

"Oh you sure did. Convenient though, eh? I mean you and Mirage were just getting settled and Prowl was probably being a bit clingy because you two had been sharing a berth before all that and he thought it was going somewhere until you dumped him. But no worries, he had Perceptor to keep him busy. Hey, didn't you introduce those two?"

Jazz's visor was bright with suppressed rage and Sideswipe knew he was pushing too far, but he couldn't stop himself. He felt a pulse through the bond, Sunstreaker asking wordlessly if he needed back up with whatever he'd gotten himself into, and he responded with 'not yet'.

"I never lied to him." Jazz hissed. "We were friends helping each other out. That's all it ever was."

"Easy for you to say." Sideswipe sneered. "You who's friends with everyone and been in the berth of half the crew. It was nothing, right? Nothing to _you_."

"Where's the angle in this, Sides? What's the deal? What're you gettin' outta this? A free pass on a prank for each turn in the berth?"

"You say that again and I'll knock a hole clean through you."

"Lets not pretend about who'd get hurt worst if you tried." Jazz retorted darkly.

"Like _that_ wouldn't hurt him anyway - having two of his friends fighting each other."

"And since when're you his friend?"

That was a question Sideswipe wasn't sure how to answer so he ignored it.

"Look, he's not a sparkling. If he doesn't want to be here, he'll leave. It's his choice."

"It'd better be." Jazz warned. "I'll find out."

Taking that as an indication that Jazz wasn't going to push any further for now, Sideswipe took the option to go back into his room, relieved to be out of the other mech's reach. Bravado was one thing, but Jazz could really be scary.

Looking up he found Prowl was now sitting on the side of the berth, watching him intently.

"What was that about?"

"Jazz thinks I'm fragging you."

"I should hope you told him that you are not?"

"Yeah, sure, but he doesn't believe it."

"Why should he think you're lying?"

Sideswipe snorted.

"Oh come on. _Everyone_ always thinks I'm lying, all the time."

Prowl nodded thoughtfully.

"That is unfortunately true."

"Besides," Sideswipe added, "it doesn't make sense. I mean why wouldn't I want to?"

Prowl's expression turned blank.

"Why wouldn't you want to what?"

"Frag you." Sideswipe answered with a grin. "I mean seriously. I've got this handsome, single mech all to myself - in my berth, even! - and I don't make a move?"

"Please don't do that." Prowl frowned.

"Do what?" Sideswipe asked.

"Don't tease. I have no desire for insincere flattery."

Sideswipe frowned, joining him on the side of the berth.

"Which bit do you think I don't mean? That you're handsome? Prowl, come on, you can't deny you're pretty. With a frame like that anyone'd want a chance with you."

"The it must surely be my stirling personality that keeps them at bay." Prowl retorted. "Let me be clear: what I said the other night was not an open invitation for you to take advantage of me. I have had more than enough of being a convenience for others."

"I wouldn't treat you like that."

"Everyone treats me like that." Prowl retorted, shaking his head. "Sideswipe, please, I'm no shy virgin looking for romance. I know what I am. I have an important role in Prime's command, I am good at that job and I enjoy doing it, but it does not make me popular. I am responsible for finding someone to patrol in the worst weather, for punishing misbehaviour, and for sending mechs out to battle with the greater good as priority over their own safety. That is who I am."

"You're also a mech and allowed to want more than an office and a cold berth to come home to." Sideswipe argued. "And anyway, why should I blame you for what you do? You're good at it, and we need _someone_ to be or we'd all be dead by now. Just because I grumble about having to clean out the air filters doesn't mean I hate you. I know how much you do for me and Sunny. You always treat us fair even though we drive you crazy. You're special."

"Convenient how these so-called truths are coming out now rather than a week ago."

"A week ago you were still with Perceptor. I don't poach."

"So you confess you _are_ trying to seduce me, then?"

"Do you want me to?" Sideswipe asked softly, leaning forward so they were almost touching. "You'd enjoy it, I promise."

Prowl turned away and Sideswipe pulled back.

"Look, I'm not, okay? I'm trying to say I'm your friend. I don't know what I want after that. Truth? Sure, I didn't notice you much beyond your job until you turned up drunk at my door. You've always been so perfect I never even thought about you being normal like the rest of us crazies. But of course you're normal. And you _are_ pretty, and whoever made you think you're not needs shooting. If it's Percy let me know and I'll do it myself. Do I want to frag you? No! Well, okay yes, but not like that. Not like Jazz is thinking. I don't want to _hurt_ you and I don't think you want a pity-frag or anything like that. Anyway, jst because I want to doesn't mean I'm going to do anything. I like my partners willing."

Prowl said nothing and Sideswipe cast about for somechange of subject to break the awkwardness.

"So... what are you going to do tomorrow?"

"Bluestreak wishes me to accompany him on a drive into the city."

"Oh."

Prowl looked at him.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing. I just thought you'd hang around the _Ark_. But it's good to get out, have a change."

"Yes." Prowl mused. "It is good." He paused, then looked back at the berth they were sitting on. "So. The question is, do I stay for the remainder of the evening, or do I go?"

"Stay." Sideswipe blurted.

"In spite of Jazz's threats to your safety?"

Sideswipe snorted.

"I'm not afraid of him."

Prowl did not look amused.

"You should be cautious. Jazz should never be underestimated, and he can be quite protective."

"Yeah well I can hold my own. And he can't actually _kill_ me and get away with it if he wants to stay with Mirage, so the worst that can happen is a stay with Ratchet and a lecture from you about brawling. But you wouldn't yell too much if I was protecting your honour, right?"

"And what if you lost?" Prowl asked, an unreadable expression on his faceplates.

"Then I'd lose."

"And give up trying?"

Sideswipe looked at him in surprise.

"I thought you didn't want me seducing you?"

Prowl's lips twitched into something that was almost a smile.

"Perhaps I haven't decided."

Then he settled down on the berth and was in recharge before Sideswipe could come up with a proper retort.

* * *

><p>What a peculiar turn his life had taken, Prowl mused as he drove along behind Bluestreak, half-listening to the younger mech prattle on cheerfully but mostly lost in his own thoughts.<p>

"It's only because it's Spike's birthday and Bee wants to do something special for him. Not that it's his _birth_ day, because otherwise he would just be a baby and we wouldn't even know him. I wonder why they call it a birth day?"

It had been pleasant, coming online this morning beside Sideswipe. The frontliner had remained properly on his side of the berth - to the point of nearly tipping off the edge when Prowl woke him up, in fact - but it had struck him just how long it had been since he had woken with Perceptor there. The scientist often worked to a different schedule and since they had been on Earth there had been so many demands on Prowl's time, but he hadn't quite realised how they had settled into this routine of being apart.

"It's his sixteenth, which is actually the _seventeenth_ really, because they don't actually count the first one, which is weird since that's the most important one. I mean, without the first one then he wouldn't be here to have the others, right?"

Sunstreaker had returned some time after he had gone into recharge, there watching him closely when he sat up but saying nothing. He seemed to be measuring him in some way, similar but not the same as the way he sized up new enemies. It made things ever so slightly awkward, but Prowl had bigger concerns than whether Sunstreaker thought his brother had gone mad in inviting their 'enemy' into their sanctuary.

"In some ways shouldn't it be the mother who celebrates the birth day? She's the one who remembers it, after all. But then, I've never met Spike's mother. I wonder why not."

"Sparkplug told Optimus she elected not to be involved in the mentoring of her creation." Prowl volunteered.

Bluestreak slowed and sank low on his wheels for a moment.

"That's sad. Humans have such strong relationships with each other, and it means so much to them. And why did she bother creating him if she didn't want him? It's such a hard process for them..."

As expected, he had made it less than ten steps from the door when Jazz appeared from around a corner and just 'happened' to be walking in his direction. Knowing it was better not to procrastinate, Prowl allowed his friend to usher him into his office and then question him intently on exactly what nefarious things Sideswipe might have done to coax him into that room.

Jazz's expression, when he finally accepted what Prowl was telling him as truth, was priceless. In all their centuries of friendship Prowl had never seen him look so stunned.

"I guess it doesn't really matter in the end, does it? I mean you only really need one mentor, and Sparkplug's obviously doing a good job, and Spike's a smart kid. We were lucky to find them, and Bee thinks Spike's just great."

In something of an echo of the previous day, after talking with Jazz he had sought out Perceptor. The scientist had immediately started to complain about being interrupted in his work the previous day and not wanting a repeat of that, but Prowl had no intention of taking much of his time. He simply wanted Perceptor to move out of his quarters.

"_But we have an agreement." Perceptor spluttered._

"_I no longer see the value in it, so I am ending it."_

"_But where will I go?"_

"_As I am not on duty that is not my concern."_

He had just barely withheld the desire to suggest Skyfire might be able to solve the problem for him. It was quite petty enough to know that if Perceptor did not find a solution for himself his only option would be to go to Jazz for help.

That thought had put him in a very good humour for this trip, and had helped him endure in good grace Ratchet's grumbling over the need to realign his doorwings.

"Bee organised this present because he knows it's what Spike really wants, but he needs to keep Spike distracted so he doesn't see it so I said I'd go and get it. I hope it fits in my altmode, though - I think Bee was going to strap it to his roof. I looked up surf boards on the internet but they come in so many different sizes and I'm not sure what he's bought."

On the whole, his morning had been positive, but there was one remaining conundrum: what did he want from this strange new situation with Sideswipe?

Jazz was right to be concerned; if it were someone else Prowl knew he would be concerned on their behalf, himself. The twins had good sparks, but they could be quite self-absorbed and there had been problems in the past with discarded lovers. Worse, anyone who had just broken from a long time lover and jumped immediately into another intimate relationship was likely not thinking clearly.

And yet, it felt different now that he was in this situation.

For one thing, in spite of his teasing Sideswipe had not made any provocative moves though he had certainly had opportunity. For another, it was difficult to decide if he truly fell into the category of distraught abandoned partner.

He and Perceptor had never had a particularly romantic relationship even at the beginning. They were intimate, yes, but not frequently and the gaps between had gradually lengthened. The last time had been just after they woke up on Earth, Prowl mused, and that had been more a stress relief, an acknowledgement of survival.

His initial reaction to Perceptor's decision had been one of shock. The things that had been said, the casual attitude, it had come from nowhere and had left him reeling. Getting drunk had just prolonged the reaction, but now he felt strangely distant from it. There had been too many orns without seeing his so-called mate, too many nights spent alone in the berth, too many broken dates. It had been perfunctory habit and custom more than love.

Well, from his limited understanding of the concept, anyway.

But then there was Sideswipe...

Sideswipe did not love him, Prowl decided. And he did not love the frontliner. But there was something there that he had not expected. Respect. And interest. Interest in him as a mech, not in gaining an advantage over the SIC. He still marvelled at the fact that Sideswipe hadn't chosen to use his drunkenness to the mech's own advantage.

Which left the questions of whether he wanted to take this further, and to what end? They were strangely exciting thoughts even as his logic processor told him it was not a good idea.

He realised abruptly that Bluestreak was very quiet and reviewed his recent memories to find that the mech had asked him a question.

"Yes, Bluestreak. I am well."

"It's just... well, I've heard things." Bluestreak said slowly. "You'd say if I could help with anything, right?"

"Of course."

"Good. Cause I'm an excellent shot. And red's an easy colour to spot in the field."

Bluestreak said no more on the subject turning again to the topic of Spike's upcoming celebration, but Prowl spent the remainder of the journey into the city wondering whether Bluestreak intended to target Perceptor or Sideswipe.

* * *

><p>Sideswipe was on comms duty, joking with Blaster to while away the time, when Perceptor stormed up to him with Red Alert and Inferno in tow.<p>

"There he is! Get him!"

Red Alert was frowning and Inferno pulled out a pair of energon cuffs. Sideswipe rose and backed away.

"What the frag?"

"Sorry, Sides, but I've got to do it." Inferno apologised, stepping closer.

"Why? What's he said I've done? It's a lie!"

"Look!" Perceptor shrilled. "Ask him!"

"Thank you, Perceptor, I can handle this." Red Alert said testily. "Sideswipe, claiming innocence when you don't even know the charge is ridiculous. Inferno, the cuffs please."

"I know whatever he's said is ridiculous." Sideswipe retorted, turning away from Inferno's attempts to wrap the restraints around his wrists. "He's crazy."

"_I'm_ crazy?" Perceptor echoed. "After what you did?"

"What the frag are you talking about? Wait, you mean with that terminal? Aw, come on..."

He broke off in dismay as Inferno finally caught his hands and latched the energon restraints into place. An unpleasant tingle went through his systems making him want to pull away but he knew that staying still was a better idea - the more you struggled, the more debilitating the charge would get.

"Check his subspace." Perceptor said eagerly.

"Stop interfering and let me do my job." Red Alert snapped at the scientist. "Sideswipe, do you have a Decepticon sonic blade in your subspace?"

Sideswipe hesitated.

"Yeah. So what? It's Sunny's."

"Inferno - pull it out and show us."

"You could've just asked." Sideswipe scowled, grimacing at the very unpleasant sensation of having someone else access his subspace pocket. "I would've shown you."

"See?" Perceptor cried triumphantly as Inferno held it up.

"I didn't deny it." Sideswipe protested. "Prowl gave me that back yesterday. Ask him."

"Why would he give it back?" Perceptor sneered. "He only confiscated it a few weeks ago."

"I didn't steal it!"

"Whether you did or didn't doesn't matter now." Red Alert dismissed the matter, taking the blade from Inferno carefully and turning away. "Inferno, lock him in the brig until I can finish investigating this. Blaster, find someone else to do Sideswipe's duty. And Perceptor - stay out of my way, and out of that lab until I'm finished in there or I'll incarcerate you too!"

* * *

><p>They had barely collected the gift - which turned out to fit easily in Bluestreak's subspace so there was no need to be concerned about methods of carrying it in his altmode - when Prowl received Prime's message to return to the <em>Ark<em>. It was not flagged as urgent but it was uncommon and so they headed straight back. Finding Jazz travelling out to meet them increased his concern that something serious had occurred in his absence.

"What's happened?" he asked as Jazz spun in a tight turn and moved to drive alongside them.

"Lots." Jazz said shortly. "Did you give Sides back that blade you caught Sunny with a few weeks back?"

"Yes I did. Has he been accused of reappropriating it via some other method? If so it's not true."

Jazz's engine revved unhappily.

"Wish that was all it was. Looks like he used it to trash Percy's lab. The place is a mess, equipment smashed an' cut up. Includin' that analysis he was doin' to purify water sources that Prime was supposed t'be tellin' the Africans about next week."

Prowl's processor spun, caught between the ramifications of such an action and an unprofessionally emotional response, and he slowed. Jazz and Bluestreak also slowed, keeping pace with him.

"It doesn't make sense." he said after a few clicks. "There is video footage of this?"

"No." Jazz told him. "I've got Bee figurin' out why, but all Red's got's a loop of old footage. Ain't too many on the crew who know how t'do that, let alone can get to the right systems for it, an' Sides's done it before."

"It's not like him to be destructively violent, though." Prowl mused. "Not in a pre-meditated way. When did this happen?"

"Hard t'be sure. No-one's been in there since yesterday afternoon so it coulda happened any time up to one-seventeen when it was found."

"That's strange. Perceptor was on his way there when I saw him this morning after I left your office."

"Then why didn't he report it straight away?" Bluestreak piped up. "And why would anyone think it would be Sideswipe to start with? I mean, what would Sides have against Perceptor to do something so nasty?"

Prowl wasn't sure how to answer that question, and after a moment Jazz pinged him on an encrypted comm line.

~You're thinkin' Percy's jealous o'you bein' wit' Sideswipe an' trashed his own lab? That's a big stretch.~

~I don't know what I suggesting, other than the fact that I don't believe Sideswipe is guilty of this action. How did his name come up in the first place?~

~Percy went straight to Red sayin' he'd just found it like that an' that he knew Sides had the right sorta weapon t'do it.~

~Then yes, I believe Perceptor is knowingly framing Sideswipe.~

~Why?~

~I don't know. Perhaps in some sort of retaliation. I asked him to move out.~

~You're movin' Sides in?~

~Don't be ridiculous, I just want my room back.~

Jazz was silent for a long moment, then resumed aloud.

"Well whatever's goin' on, Prime's wantin' it sorted an' he wants you t'deal wit' it."

"So much for my leave." Prowl mused in a wry tone that he did not feel.

What was going on? Sideswipe had both a motive and a weapon: he was angry at Perceptor on Prowl's behalf and it would not be the first time he had damaged scientific experiments. But those had all been either accidents or sudden bouts of lashing out. Not pre-meditated. Yet if it wasn't Sideswipe, who could it be? Did he truly believe that Perceptor could do such damage just for revenge?

He had still not decided when they reached the _Ark_ and found Prime and Red Alert waiting for them in the lab. At first glance the destruction seemed random, yet even as he looked around Prowl realised that it was mostly broken or redundant systems that had been targetted.

Optimus gestured for Jazz to close the door, then looked sternly at Prowl.

"Explain to me why Perceptor would do this to his own workspace and why he would blame Sideswipe for it."

"You have proven that it was Perceptor's own doing, then?"

"I figured that much out before we even got the knife which would do entirely different damage than the energon blade used to do this." Red Alert huffed. "Amongst other silliness he used his own rank code to get into the security feed. The question is, _why_?"

"I'm not sure I have a complete answer for that."

"He's your sparkmate, you must have some idea." Red Alert grumbled.

"Not any longer." Prowl responded crisply. "He informed me four days ago that he would be happier if we were to terminate our relationship."

That caught Optimus's attention, but Red Alert spoke first.

"So that's why you've taken this sudden holiday? Strange, I'd expect you to want to work harder, not less. And he's found out you've been sharing with Sideswipe, has he? What I expected, then."

Optimus choked, and Prowl frowned.

"I have not engaged in any intimacies with Sideswipe, not that that is anyone's business but my own. Perceptor may believe what he wishes but he made his choice to walk away and whatever excuse he may give this is his mess to deal with."

Red Alert looked at him sceptically.

"You've spent the last two nights with Sideswipe. Jazz even went to find you there - I saw it all on the monitors. You're telling me he charged on the floor?"

"_I'm_ tellin' ya t'drop it." Jazz interrupted, stepping forward. "Prowl says nothin's goin' on, so nothin's goin' on. Anyway, Percy'd have t'be nuts t'get all jealous so quick when he's the one who walked away so that ain't it. There's somethin' else goin' on."

"I spoke with him this morning and asked him to move out." Prowl offered.

"'Bout time too, but I don't believe that either." Jazz shook his head. "He had to expect you would. Somethin' else."

Prowl looked at his friend in frustration.

"There is very little else that could possibly..." he began, then paused as his optics fell on the one piece of genuinely important equipment that had been damaged.

The main research terminal.

His processor put the pieces together, and this time they fit.

"He wants my terminal." he stated, internally reviewing the probabilities. "He was impressed with it when we first began spending time together and he often uses it for his work. Over time he had the science lab terminals upgraded, but since the crash we have had limited resources and priority went to security, medical and tactical. He had suggested that we could continue sharing accommodation in spite of our estrangement, no doubt so he still had access to my personal terminal, and my request this morning was likely the trigger for action. He was aware that I had returned this blade to Sideswipe and apparently saw an opportunity to request that that terminal be moved to here. It is even possible that the research he claims was lost is in fact on that terminal now. He does not like repeating his work so I doubt he damaged anything he could not recover."

There was a brief pause, then Jazz nodded.

"Makes sense, I guess. I'll go take a look. Red, you wanna come with?"

They headed out, the door closing behind them, and Prowl looked at Optimus.

"I assume Sideswipe can now be released?"

"Yes, since it's clear he is innocent."

Prime stepped forward, placing a sympathetic hand on Prowl's shoulder.

"I am sorry. I had hoped the rumours of your parting were wrong. I've instructed Jazz to return your access to your office; that was a needless additional stress at a difficult time."

"I appreciate that. He meant well, but..." He paused, not bothering to state the obvious. "In any case, if I had been able to work I would likely have continued to ignore Perceptor's behaviour which would likely not have been healthy in the long term. I should perhaps be grateful that this has occurred during a quiet time."

Optimus's hand tightened a little on his shoulder.

"No-one should have to be grateful for having their beliefs disproven. You may have been distant, but you were still a couple."

Prowl dimmed his optics, acknowledging that truth and feeling the peace that emanated from the Matrix bearer soothing away some of the bitterness and betrayal.

"Thank you." he said after a moment, pulling back a step.

Optimus nodded and the serious mood settled back into a more comfortable one of old friends.

"So. Sideswipe? Do I want to know?"

"It was unexpected." Prowl admitted. "I went looking for high grade and instead found support."

"You could have found that in others." Optimus suggested.

"I'm aware of that." Prowl assured him. "Things have merely moved more quickly and more strangely than I could have predicted. As for Sideswipe, he has been kinder than I had any reason to expect he might be. He has not taken advantage of me or my current situation in any way."

"He has a good spark." Optimus allowed.

"Yes. He does."

"Even so, I'm relieved to hear it was innocent." Prime continued. "This must have been a devastating week for you personally, and you do not need further complications."

Prowl nodded and felt Optimus's gaze weighing on him.

"You disagree?" he was asked.

"No." Prowl responded. "What I want most right now is to have my normal routine restored. As it happens, Perceptor and I spent very little time in each other's company in any case, so I'm sure I will adjust rapidly to his absence. After that, I believe I might attempt to cultivate this friendship with Sideswipe."

"Friendship." Optimus mused. "And then more? You realise that neither of the twins have ever made any long-term commitments to others? Not to mention the complications of his conduct and your role in discipline."

"I'm not sure what I want from him." he said honestly. "And I have no illusions as to the difficulties that could arise. But it would be unfortunate to ignore the kindness he has shown me."

"Then I wish you well with it. There has been little enough pleasure left to us with this war, and close friendships always have value."

* * *

><p><em>Three years later<em>

Another Monday night, another evening spent together. So much part of the normal routine now that the only time anyone commented was if for some reason they did not meet.

Not that they missed out often. When one of them was in the medbay, the other would take time to stay with them regardless of Ratchet's annoyance. And the few Mondays Sideswipe had been in the brig, Prowl had taken some work there and quietly done it in an unlocked adjoining cell. Not speaking or distracting, because that would detract from the punishment, but simply as company.

At first they had been quite cautious about it, alternating turns to pick the location and activity. It did not always work out entirely, such as the time Prowl had taken Sideswipe to an outdoor poetry reading and the warrior had ended up so bored he had made up an excuse to leave early, or the time Sideswipe talked Prowl into drag racing on a closed track and they ended up being reprimanded by the local police.

Over time, though, they had found a happy medium and a range of activities they could both enjoy. And more often than not they ended up in Prowl's quarters. Prowl was not overly fond of the noise and bustle of the rec room, and Sunstreaker was still undecided as to whether it was a good thing that his brother was dating the SIC.

Wherever they ended up, they always returned to their own quarters to charge.

Tonight they were settled comfortably together on the couch, watching a film Jazz had recommended. It had had an acceptably interesting plot and a minimum of confusing human emotional interactions, so it had made for a pleasant diversion. But the credits were now rolling, and it was getting on towards the time they should be thinking about recharging.

"Well, guess it's time to go." Sideswipe announced, sitting up straight.

Prowl reached out and touched his wrist, not actually holding him back but drawing his attention.

"Stay?" he asked.

"For the night?" Sideswipe checked.

Prowl smiled and slid his fingers around Sideswipe's wrist, drawing him closer.

"To begin with. After that, we'll have to see."

* * *

><p><em>A few hours later...<em>

"I always knew they were wrong, you know."

"Who, and about what?"

"Whoever said you sucked slag in the berth. Wrong."

"Oh."

"It's true."

"I'm glad you think so, but as a compliment it lacks some finesse."

"Something to work on, maybe?"

"Indeed."


End file.
